Many question the placement of the commandment to honor parents in the first half of the asseret hadibrot. Assuming the dibrot divide evenly between commandments between man and God and interpersonal mitzvot, why does honoring parents appear in the first category? While R. Yosef Bechor Shor does not explicitly pose this question, his comments prove relevant (see his commentary on Shemot 20:11). He explains the prohibition against worshiping other gods might erroneously lead to the conclusion that honoring parents is theologically problematic; after all, it means honoring beings other than God. The Torah emphasizes that God directs us to honor parents and does not view this as a diminution of divine honor. Quite the contrary! The ability to show gratitude to parents for giving birth and ongoing care means a parallel ability to express thanks to God for all He does for us. Conversely, difficulty with gratitude does not bode well for a successful relationship with the Holy One, blessed be He.

Ramban also connects honoring parents with honoring God. Hashem and parents serve as partners in the creation of a child. This idea enables Ramban to solve a interpretive conundrum. The second version of the dibrot in sefer Devarim adds the phrase “as I commanded you” (Devarim 5:15) in the context of the mitzva to honor parents. When did God command the Jewish people regarding kibbud av va’em prior to the revelation at Sinai? Rashi explains that Hashem gave them the mitzva of honoring parents at Marah before they came to Sinai. Alternatively, if we understand the second version of the dibrot as Moshe’s later recapitulation and elaboration of the word of God, the question dissipates. Standing at the entranceway to the land of Israel, Moshe refers back to the earlier episode at Sinai in which God gave the Ten Commandments (see Ibn Ezra on Shemot 20).

Rashi and Ibn Ezra state very reasonable solutions; Ramban offers an innovative different option (commentary on Shemot 20:11). He says that sefer Devarim’s mention of an earlier command actually refers to the command to honor God. According to this reading, Hashem directs us to honor our parents just as He commanded us to honor Himself. Presumably, Ramban does not intend an exact equation between our reverence for God and our honor for parents; rather, enough rough commonality exists to enable some type of comparison. Ramban raises interesting aspects of this parallel. Just as we should worship God out of idealistic motivation and not for personal gain, we should honor parents for noble reasons and not in hopes of inheriting their money.

The strong connection between honoring parents and honoring God may explain the placement of the fifth of the Ten Commandments. Those capable of expressing gratitude and of honoring others without an eye towards profit will fulfill both mitzvot in a far more profound manner.